Good morning,
We’re starting the week with a top tier Life & Times interview with Miki Berenyi, the former Lush and Piroshka singer/guitarist who now helms the Miki Berenyi Trio - MB3 for short.
The MB3 are completed by Miki’s husband KJ ‘Moose’ McKillop (once of the great, somewhat undervalued Moose - I still play their wistful 1994 Honey Bee album), and Oliver Cherer. When the MB3’s debut album Tripla is released on April 4 we’ll have a Release Valve from Moose and Oliver. Here’s their latest video for the excellent Big I Am from the album.
The MB3 will be heading out on tour from April 4, and you can check out the dates and how to buy the album here. That link will also direct you to Miki’s excellent 2022 memoir, Fingers Crossed. The fact that she can write such a good book, and that she has for many years worked as a sub-editor, means that when she offered to write her own answers to our questionnaire rather than be interviewed, I knew it would be perfectly pitched and clean. So it proved, despite the hungover conditions she laboured under.
Enjoy the - free! - edition and we’ll see you on Friday. Spread the word, please: like, subscribe, share and all that jazz.
Ted and Niall.
The Life & Times Of…Miki Berenyi
What was the first record you loved?
Most likely a compilation album of Disney songs. I was obsessed as a kid with The Jungle Book (original 1967 animated version) and I think I even went to see it on one of our family holidays to Budapest, dubbed into Hungarian. The Bare Necessities filled me with irrepressible delight.
And the last?
I just heard Roustabout by Moonlandingz the other night on 6 Music and have been listening to it all day. I’m a sucker for a spy-themey tune – and Nadine Shah sounds totally gorgeous on it.
What is your earliest memory?
I have a very vivid image of a step in our garden that had rings imprinted into the concrete, and the feeling of grit on my cheek as I lay on the floor observing the tiny red spiders skittering along in the grooves.
What is your daily domestic routine?
I wish I could provide you with a Gregg Wallace/Mark Wahlberg-style regime, but I’m a procrastinator and therefore reactive rather than pro-active. There’s no disciplined timetable, just things that need to be done. I have a wall calendar and a desk diary covered in urgent reminders, and the house is littered with scraps of paper with lists saying: “Book dentist”, “Fix shower”, “Finish lyrics!!!!” and “TAX RETURN”.
Even when I’m not working the day job from home, I’m tethered to the computer emailing/messaging friends and dealing with band stuff/my mother’s tech problems/family admin, which I get through by drinking buckets of fizzy water and vaping like a lunatic.
I’m a bit of a slob and I need the incentive of going out to get properly dressed, so I find it surprising that I’m endlessly targeted online with tummy-flattening exercises, beauty-product regimes and inventive hair-styling tips – none of which I am remotely interested in or capable of carrying out. The only self-care I can manage is a bit of yoga while I wait for the kettle to boil – and even then, the second I have to bend down to ground level, I’m distracted by huge dust balls under the furniture and feel compelled to get the hoover out.
I do love cooking though, so in trad-wife style, a home-cooked, from-scratch meal is ready to eat when Moose gets in from work. I can happily spend an entire day in the kitchen if we’ve got friends coming over.
What's your worst habit?
Vaping in places I’m not supposed to. It drives me crazy that vaping is banned in the same way that smoking was, when there is no such thing as ‘passive vaping’. But it annoys the shit out of Moose when I sneak a puff in various public places and that alone should be enough to make me stop doing it (it doesn’t).
Has anyone you've met ever made you feel starstruck?
Loads of times, which is why I tend to steer clear of celebrity encounters.
On one of my regular trips to LA to visit my mum, I tagged along while she was working at a photo shoot with the supermodel Linda Evangelista. When Evangelista’s then boyfriend, Kyle McLachlan, wandered in, Mum started gushing: “My daughter LOVES Twin Peaks, she has a HUGE crush on you!”. This would maybe have been fine if I was a child, but I was 23 at the time and what made the situation a hundred times more excruciating is that she was right, I did have a huge crush – though technically not on Kyle McLachlan but on Agent Cooper.
I wish this experience had taught me something self-improving, but when Lush were at a dinner once in the presence of Anita Pallenberg, I did precisely the same thing to Phil King (bass player in Lush) and drunkenly squealed how Phil was absolutely creaming himself to be sat at the same table with a 60s legend and the star of Performance. So cringe!!!!
Who or what is the greatest influence on your work?
Happy collaborators and a deadline.
What would people be surprised to learn about you?
That not everything is in the book.
What are you scared of?
Any harm coming to my children. It’s the one thing that really terrifies me. I know that a necessary part of being a parent is allowing them to go out into the world and make their own mistakes, so they can thrive and become independent, but it’s sometimes hard not to catastrophise.
On a more quirky note, everyone in the world succumbing to plastic surgery. One: because it feels a bit ‘Invasion of the Bodysnatchers’; and Two: because if all my friends did it, I’m not sure I’d have the strength to resist it myself.
I get that actors and models, and anyone who has to make a living from their looks, is under enormous pressure to have it done. But it breaks my heart a little every time I see that frozen, laminated, puffy, wonky look, where nuance and subtlety has been ironed out of an expression.
Yes, yes, I wear make up. Often too much, and sometimes as a mask. But come on, you can wipe that crap off. It’s not permanent and it doesn’t make bits of you go numb or lose function.
But this may also be down to my own squeamishness with surgery. I don’t understand the willingness to go under the knife/have shit injected into your face unless it’s to save a life, limb or organ. It feels like self-harm.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
I’m crap at this particular thought experiment because all I can think of is how difficult life would be without central heating, a flushing toilet, a clean water supply and a memory-foam mattress. And how very vulnerable I would feel in an entirely alien environment as a woman.
But it might be interesting to walk around my familiar neighbourhood several hundred years ago, just to marvel at how it was back then. Or to meet my grandmother in 1930s Hungary and possibly find out what the hell turned her into such a terrible person.
What do you wish the 18-year-old you knew?
I used to worry a lot about what other people think of me. I mean, I still do, but I try to only care about the opinions of people I know and respect.
It’s so easy to be bullied when you are young because you still don’t know who you really are, and your potential is unfulfilled. You think there is some secret you’ve not yet learned that will guarantee happiness and success. So you can find yourself gravitating toward people who exude confidence and claim to hold all the answers, then relying on their approval and feeling crushed by their condemnation. It’s coercion and control on their part, but an abdication of responsibility on your own.
At 58, I now recognise there are no easy answers, no magic key. Good fortune plays a part – the rest is just using your common sense and instincts to avoid catastrophe, learning to handle disappointment and making the most of the good times when they come.
What’s the secret to a long life?
Probably the basics – don’t smoke, avoid alcohol, exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet. I’m doing OK with the last one, not so much the others. But mental health is as important as physical health, and staying connected – to people who make you happy, to a sense of purpose… I see the importance of that. And when your body can no longer function in the way you want, having music, literature, cinema – something that takes you out of yourself and resonates with your intellect and emotions. That’s huge. I’ve seen people who spent their entire lives focused on work and success, who wither when that part of their lives is over because they have no outside interests.
What was the home you grew up in like?
I grew up in several homes because my parents split and I bounced between them. Mum’s home was lovely until my stepdad moved in and then he ruled the roost, which I found deeply irritating. Dad’s was complete chaos, which I preferred, but it was unhealthy and damaging. You can read all the details in my memoir – someone commented to me that the house in Staverton Road (Dad’s) is like a whole separate character in the book.
Is there a God? If so, how does He manifest?
No, but it doesn’t bother me if you have one, as long as you don’t demand that I believe in him as well (I think it’s always a ‘him’).
Do you mind getting older?
Not massively. The physical deterioration is a bit depressing – aches and pains, less energy. My little-finger joint is permanently bent so I imagine arthritis will become a complaint.
I don’t think of myself as a particularly vain person, but there are times when we do a photo session, or someone sticks a pic on socials, and I’m like “OMG who is that OLD BAG?!”. But I wasn’t particularly enamoured with my looks even when I was younger, so I know I’ll look at that exact same photo in a couple of years and think “Wow, I actually look OK there” – the bracketed afterthought being “… compared to now”.
What's the best advice you've ever been given?
I wasn’t sure, after A levels, whether I wanted to continue in education, and my Dad said: “Why would you tie yourself to a job when you don’t even know what the fuck you want to do yet? You’re young, and you have enough energy and brains to fuck around and get a degree at the same time.”
However, this was before the introduction of crippling debts via university fees and student loans, so he may have felt differently now. But he generally advocated for not saddling yourself with too many responsibilities until you’re at least 30.
What's the secret to a happy relationship?
I’m guessing it’s different for everyone, but for me: Liking the person, enjoying their thoughts and their ideas and their company – not just being ‘in love’ with them and dazzled, but really loving the whole person, flaws and all. Humour plays a big part, as does cooperation. And also, being able to accept that it isn’t always happy, and not panicking when it isn’t. Which is hard.
What's your greatest regret?
Chris’s death [Chris Acland was Lush’s drummer: he committed suicide in 1996]. I know, it’s my stock answer, and it’s not like there is anything really palpable I could have done to stop it from happening. But every time he’s mentioned and called to my mind, one of my immediate feelings – along with a rush of memories of good times and his funny, lovely personality – is a very clear feeling of regret.
Can you cook - what's your signature dish?
I absolutely LOVE to cook. There’s not much I can be unquestioningly proud of, but most people who come over to eat really do love my cooking! In the years between Lush’s split and the reunion, when I was a working mum, it was about the only creative thing I did. I’m happy to take on any dietary restrictions or allergies, so there’s no signature dish – just whatever I think someone will like. That said, my friend Monika gave me a recipe for a veggie moussaka that is KILLER and my current favourite for when I’m cooking for anyone who doesn’t eat meat or fish. And I feel I’ve finally nailed the best way to cook chicken wings so they are full of flavour and crispy – not flabby or greasy.
Which living person do you most despise?
No one I know personally. Despising someone requires them having power over you, or the people you care about. Otherwise you’d simply walk away and not waste your energy.
I’ve spent decades loathing Rupert Murdoch, but it would be more accurate to say that I despise the effect of his influence rather than the man himself, because I’ve never met him – and can you really despise anyone you don’t actually know?
When and why did you last cry?
Chris’s dad died recently, and I was sent a link to the funeral. The speeches were very moving, and the photo montage of Oliver’s life had me sobbing. He was a brilliant and well-loved man (hilarious, too), so it was a celebration of his life as much as a mourning.
Do you have a temper? How does it manifest?
I do, and it mostly manifests as irritation and saying something cutting or mean.
I’ve lost it big time only a few times in my life – rage is ugly and scary, and it can cause permanent damage. It’s really hard to trust someone again, once they’ve unleashed that kind of fury on you. You end up treading on eggshells because of the threat that it might happen again.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I was more sporty. I like swimming and I used to be pretty good at gymnastics, but I am crap at anything involving a ball. I blame chronic shortsightedness, but I am also quite uncoordinated. I can’t even run properly.
Do you have any phobias?
I’m panicky with heights, but I think that may be linked to a lack of trust in my self-control. I only have to get within ten yards of a cliff edge and I immediately feel myself gripped by the urge to jump.
What depresses you?
That power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. That people always find a scapegoat for their own unhappiness, and thereby justify the harm they do to others. Basically, the shit and inevitable side of human nature.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Me and Moose being together for 30 years.
